HIMYM AU: Barney finds out that Robin works for S.H.I.E.L.D as Agent Hill (Part 1)
HIMYM AU: Barney finds out that Robin works for S.H.I.E.L.D as Agent Hill (Part 1)
THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS SITE
mY MOM WAS LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER AND WHEN SHE SAW THIS SHE DROPPED HER PHONE IN SHOCK AND THE SCREEN CRACKED
MERLYN & SMOAK AU: Dinner Tales
"It’s not funny. I found a brownie in his room, ate it and ended up in the hospital."
"How much pot was in it?"
"Oh, it wasn’t the pot. I’m allergic to nuts - hey, stop laughing."
"Felicity Smoak, you are not what I expected."
Let the partaaaaay begin!!! [x]
- sam wilson and clint barton bonding over bird names, impossible leaps from impossible heights, and a shared love of making fun of steve rogers
- tony stark discovering the truth behind his parents’ death and decided how to confront it
- bobbi morse
- sam and rhodey having beers, making fun of their white dude best friends
- carol danvers
the list could go on and one but i feel like these are relatively realistic given marvel’s trend
7. Sharon and Natasha’s implied friendship being expanded upon because I need awesome lady spies being friends and hanging out and complaining about everything and everyone.
8. Sharon being unable to admit the truth about HYDRA to Peggy because she knows it will break her heart, and swearing that she will help to rebuild SHIELD stronger than before, because you do not fuck with anything Aunt Peggy helped to build.
#Robin bb you didn’t even try
Emma catches Hook with a siren in Neverland… and it is not what she expected. Rated a hard T.
This was wrong.
This was beyond wrong.
This was so, so, so, so wrong.
But she couldn’t stop looking. She didn’t want to stop looking at the way his fingers threaded through thick, dark hair, mouth opening, deepening and guiding the kiss in a dominant yet sensual way that had her wondering if he had looked like that when he had kissed her- why couldn’t she stop looking?
This was wrong.
She should have stayed at the damned camp. She shouldn’t have gone after him, but dammit, all his warnings about poison and plants and wild beasts and the Lost Boys must have really gotten to her because after twenty minutes of waiting around for him to return from collecting firewood she had muttered an excuse about making sure Hook was alright that had Neal scurrying to his feet, saying he’d go with her, while her mother raised an eyebrow that said she was pretty sure Hook was fine and she was also pretty sure that Emma knew it. The way that she had almost forcefully brushed Neal’s insistent offer off only made Snow’s raised eyebrow turn into a soft knowing look (that was barely, barely a smile) as she shook her head to herself.
She was glad to get away from that look. She didn’t want to think about that look right then, not after Hook’s confession back in the caves.
Instead, the entire time Emma had trudged through the jungle she had told herself that she didn’t care about where he was, she was just looking for him because they were all a team, all the while mumbling curses at the pirate for taking his sweet time until she had stumbled across the lagoon and seen… it.
It being Hook.
More specifically, Hook kissing someone at the water’s edge.
A leather clad someone.
A short haired, leather clad, hook handed – fuck.
This was not happening.
This was absolutely, one hundred percent not happening.
Emma’s breath caught in her throat, sticking there thickly when Hook (well, one of them) pulled the other closer, tilting his head to deepen the kiss even further, a growl leaving his throat as his movements became slightly more aggressive.
She’d never really been into the whole guy on guy thing, not as a rule– sure, she’d watched the occasional porno, but it wasn’t what she’d consider a particular kink of hers, but now, watching his hooked arm wrap around the leather-coat-clad waist of the other Hook, both of their mouths plundering the other’s roughly like the pirates they were – fuck, why couldn’t she stop watching?!
This was not right, it would never be right, and she was never, ever going to get this image out of her head now that she’d seen it, that she was quite sure of.
A soft groan muffled by the other pirate’s mouth sounded just loudly enough for her to hear from the edge of the forest and Emma felt her arm tightening around the tree trunk that she had grabbed onto the second she had seen him - stunned into a sort of frozen silence, unable to do more than stare, wide-eyed and oddly… entranced?
No, Emma, you are not turned on by Hook kissing… Hook. Why the hell are there two Hooks anyway?
God, the other Hook even moved like the real one.
Nope. This was not alright.
This could never be okay on a hundred different levels, but she couldn’t help the heat that coursed through her veins at the sight of the two pirates (the same pirate) kissing, fondling, moaning into the fervent kisses and groping in a way that looked like it was about two minutes from turning into something else entirely.
The Hook with his feet immersed to his ankles in seawater took a step backwards making the other Hook take a hesitant step forward, then another when a hand moved to cup him through his leather pants, coaxing him a third step, the water halfway to their knees.
She knew exactly what this was.
Hook had mentioned sirens after they had first met that mermaid. He’d mentioned them taking the shape of others to seduce men to their deaths, he’d warned them against their trickery, but this didn’t make any sense. A siren seducing him with… himself? What was the point? Then again, it seemed to be working. Her Hook (she assumed the one being lured inch by inch further into the water) seemed pleasantly distracted by its - well, his skill.
Kissing. Touching. Making him groan.
Just as Emma was about to force herself to move, to yell, to snap him out of it, to do something to stop whatever was going on, he stopped first. She heaved a sigh of relief, relaxing her grip on the tree as he pulled back a few inches, staring into the siren’s eyes longingly. Disbelief flickered in his eyes and he looked as if he were about to say something, skimming his fingertips against the siren’s face when it slowly began to slide down his body, the other Hook dropping to his knees.
No, no, no. Move, Emma. Now! You can’t watch this, you can’t let this happen, you can’t just let him-
Thankfully, she didn’t have to, because just as his lips and scruff rubbed temptingly against the leather and laces and Hook’s chest heaved with a shuddering gasp, the siren’s mouth slid lower and away from his body, smirking devilishly with Hook’s face before abruptly dropping the façade. Dark, shaggy hair turned long and light, skin paled, and all at once, the figure was now womanly and appealing, the leather disappearing into a thin, water-soaked lavendar gown. In one, swift motion, both of her hands were curled around his ankles and yanking him sharply off of his feet and into the water.
They were both gone, disappearing into the calm, green water in one, fell swoop. Emma pushed herself off of the tree, bolting forward without thinking.
God damn it, Hook.
The frustrated curse was the last thing she remembered passing through her mind before she felt herself diving into the icy, murky depths, opening her eyes, searching for something, anything.
You’d better not die, Jones. There is no way that this is going to be my last memory of you.
Five minutes and one unattached, bloody hook later, they both emerged from the lagoon, coughing and sputtering, gasping for air as they rose from the water, both leaning on each other equally for support. Water sloshed and squelched in their boots, the pair struggling forward against the weight of their wet clothes and the deep, sucking mud around the lagoon. Finally, they were far enough away from the water’s edge to be safe and Emma let herself collapse under the stiff weight of Hook’s body. They fell forward, still choking on the small amounts of water in their lungs, lying beside each other limply.
“You are never… going out… for firewood… again.”
A weak, relieved chuckle rose from his chest as Hook rolled over to his back, staring up into the clear, blue sky. “Perhaps that would be appropriate.”
After a minute or two to catch their breath, Emma cursed and rolled to her side, covered in a thin coat of dirt and mud where it had mixed with her sopping clothing, suggesting they get out of there before something else tried to kill them. Once they had both stood on shaky legs and managed to make their way back into the dense, Neverland forest, Emma took the lead, awkwardness seeping back in as the fear of death faded and she remembered what had gotten them into this situation to begin with.
Based on the way he was pursing his lips and fumbling with his hook to snap it back into place, Hook was experiencing a similar feeling.
“How much did you see?”
“I-” Emma started to deny that she had seen anything, but instead she took a deep breath. No point in lying. “I saw a hell of a lot, Hook.”
“Lass, what you… saw back there, it wasn’t-I mean I thought it was… I shouldn’t have let the witch fool me. I should know better than to fall for the beast’s wiles,” he spat, sounding both ashamed and irritated with himself.
“It’s fine. It was a siren, Hook,” she shrugged off his apologies, trying not to look him in the eye. “But I don’t understand, why would it- I mean you were kissing-”
You, was what she wanted to say, but somehow the word wouldn’t come out. How did you talk about something like that?
“Aye…” he replied slowly, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, looking at the ground for a moment before glancing back up, making brief eye contact that seemed to reassure him of what he was about to say. “Sirens they- they show you who you want most in the world, love.” He let the words hang in the air for a long, tenuous moment before looking down again, shaking his head with frustration. “The wench must have seen me before I saw her because all I ever saw was…”
“What are you saying?” she laughed, the puzzled words flying out of her mouth before she could rethink them. “What you want most in the world is…”
“Emma, just because of what… I don’t want you to feel as if you have to-” He paused, narrowing his eyes slightly when he noted the confusion present in her face, looking at her for nearly a full minute, a sort of horror spreading across his expression as the seconds passed. She could practically watch the thought occur to him, only able to cringe and wait for his reply. “What did you see, Swan?”
She bit her lip, trying not to look as awkward as she felt, but her expression must have given something away.
The blush that heated up her neck, her cheeks turning a bright pink.
The way she looked at his lips, then flitted to his eyes, lingering in them just a tad too long.
The way she suddenly stared at the ground and turned away from him. “They show you who you want most in the world” - his words hit her full force. He must have seen - but she had seen…
“Bloody fucking hell!”
He must have gotten the punchline the same time she had.